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Love can be so sad...

  • Mar. 8th, 2009 at 3:54 PM
jae
Yunho POV

I tried...I really tried to understand him
But I feel useless

He called me... well
He asked me to call him
And I did ...because he was so...
And...I was a fool

We spoke and I didn't understand
Well I understand but I didn't make him understand
He finally stoped to talk and send me a message

Maybe he was thinking of breaking...
Now I think he wanted me to call him back
But I didn't
I didn't because I am not like that

Well...maybe I'm too proud

I receive a call this afternoon.
I didn't know the number... I just answer thinking that could be him
But nop
It was his friend Minnie ah
He said many things
He said me that I am heartless

I asked why
He said Jaejoong cried during two hours
Because he called him after  he called me
He said how I hurt him
He said that Jae loved and loves me
But I know that!
Minnie said when Jae loves he wants everything
I think I know
Finally he said Jae suffers because of me
Because he is really scared... because he think he is going to hurt me
But I don't think so...I love him

Oh..yes..that's right...I still can't tell him...
I can tell I adore him, that he is my heart
But I can't tell him "I love you"
He knows that...he always says that doesn't matter...because he knows it

After listen Minnie, I understand that IS the matter
That I can't tell him
Because he's afraid of being alone

But...
I love him...
I suffer so much before...because of those three words
Because of somebody else
But him...
He is special...
He IS mine
I can't let  an other touch him, see him, laugh at him

I love him for God sake! I am such a coward
I went at my brother's house.
I know his phone...
I know he is at home
I know what to do... call him..confort him...
And tell him..."I love you"

Love can be so cruel

  • Mar. 7th, 2009 at 12:04 PM
jae
Jaejoong POV

I was happy
Because he said he cares of me...but never that he loved me

Love...what is love? Love is red like joy, and like death and blood
I always tried to imagine...to understand why I am like this
Maybe because I don't care about myself
Maybe because I love without thinking
I hate myself for being such a bitch
Maybe now it's too late

I tried to make him understand
My despair, my weakness.
Love is like a drug...
I need to see him to feel him
Feel his arms around my waist, feel his kisses on my neck
Feel him against me...

I need his voice, I need his eyes
I need confort because I'm so scared...
I need... but what can I offer?... I don't know

Am I that horrible?...
I just wanted to love...once again....
Feel happy... Feel relieved

When I left I promise I don't be such a whore anymore.
Broken promises...
I want him... I want to smell him ,to kiss him

I am afraid of his abandon...I'm afraid to be alone once again
I tried to tell him...
I always do the first step...always
Calls... net... always I try to no seem sad because he didn't do that himself
Maybe I am wrong...to love him like crazy

Maybe it's time for me to understand..
That if he can't tell me he loves me...
That he never loved me...never...
And in that case...
To let him go...and be ready...for hurt and sorrow

Now standing by myself in my room
His number on my mobile screen
I wait...
For some courage for some force...
I wait... again...and again...
I am alone with this choice
And my love can't help me...
I am alone with my choice
Mon coeur, do you love me?...

Tags:

second part

  • Oct. 28th, 2008 at 12:22 PM
jae


"Baby I love you"

     "I love you baby"

"Baby I want you" 

     "Me too darling"

"Jae do you want to marry me?"

      "Yes Yunho , yes I do"

"You are my everything "

       "You are my sun"

 "I want to spend my all life with you"

         "I'm ready for all my life with you"

Su,Min,Chun entre on the scene too

"Then we agree too
Live your love story , live your love
We are going to support you"


Chorus

"Because in your life
You are going to love one person"

"Love is everything"

Do you like it ? Please comments are loved
Hope my two darling love it
Kisses everyone

What is Love?

  • Oct. 7th, 2008 at 9:11 AM
jae

 Title: What is love

Length: ...

Author: cl700177. 

Genre: angst angst angst

Rating:

Pairing: Yunjae

Summary: what is love.. how better summary right ;)

AN: I wrote this a long time ago but I don't find time to send it here or my computer let me alone :'(
This fic is for alisya happy birthday dear , very late and I'm sorry



Jae was alone in the kitchen. He was trying to make a dinner... But he couldn't. Tears felt along his cheeks
Yunho..., his beloved Yunho.. just broke with him. But why?... He didn't know , he didn't understand

Flash back

_Jae...
_Yunnie! I just finish my choregraphy. Why don't we go ouside?
_Jae I...
_Or maybe you prefer stay at home?
_Jae!
_Yes Yunnie
_It's over... We are over... It's finished
_What?... But...
_Don't talk with me Jaejoong. I just don't love you anymore. Bye

End of flashback

His Yunnie went and let him alone. The day of their forth birthday together. The day of Mirotic show. Jae cried so much and without notice, cut himself. When he realised it, he felt nothing... no pain , just blood...
Smirking , crying, he took the knife and remembered the sentence of his "ex" Yunho.
"You are so hot baby... Your chest is so beautiful... I love you baby" talking about Mirotic clip
"You will see Jung Yunho , how much I can hate you..."
And the knife cut his torso, his arms, his belly... blood ruining the food he tried to prepare few minutes ago. He fell on the floor and finally open his veins


Later

The others members come back home
_"Umma", sing Minnie running to the kitchen.
_"Always hungry", laugh Su holding hand with his Chunnie
Yunho smiles a little and walk to his room when he hears the scream of Changmin, scream of horror. He run with the two others in the kitchen. And he sees his beloved Boojae, hold by a crying Minnie...
Cut, marks, blood... he hears Chun call emergency, he hears Su cries... but him..he just kneel besides the man bleeding and feel tears on his cheeks..

"What is love?"

Tags:

Miss you epilogue

  • Aug. 12th, 2008 at 4:16 PM
jae
 Title:Miss you
Length:part?
Author: cl700177. 
Genre: drama 
Rating: PG?
Pairing: Yunjae
Summary: What happen when your love go?
AN:  Then an other update darlings hope you enjoy it's short but it's for you chloe^^



A young beautiful manrun, laughting,, and trying to escape of an other man taller , handsome so manly

The second man catch the brunet. And both of them fall on the floor. U-Know kiss his lover in the neck. Hero smile and let himself go more inside the arms of U-know

They stay like that a long time . A beautifulcouple calm and happy

Suddenly Hero get up and look everywhere


« U-Know...where are we? »

« In the nowhere..maybe everywhere.. »

« Why are we here? »

« Because... because if our past. »

« This place...why us? »

« ..For a new love. »

« A new love?.. »


Hero turn to his beloved and smile at him

« No U-know »

« What do you mean?»

U-know catch the beautiful man in his arms, anguish


« I mean »

A kiss on the nose

« Our love »

A kiss on the right cheek

« isn't a new love »

A kiss on the left cheek

« I will love you »

A kiss at the corner of the lips

« Forever »

And a final kiss on the lips, passionate, hot and sweet

U-know feel his cheeks wet, wet of tears

Tears of joy, Hero loves him

And their death in eath never change this.


The two boys now live theirs love in paradise.

Sometimes real love story happen. We just have to look carefully

Tags:

Hurt is nothing

  • Aug. 6th, 2008 at 2:54 PM
jae
 

Title: Hurt is nothing

Lenght: oneshot

Author: cl700177

Genre: ..

Rating:PG?

Pairing Yunjae


Summary: One day , he wake up and this day suppose to be the worse day of his live

Warnings:Don't know very well this part of their story... so I do it like I fell myself but I do my best.

AN: This is for vngm birthday! So happy birthday dear! :D





"This is going to be a worse day..."

Jaejoong wake up with this idea. He doesn't sleep well and he hurt his knee under the shower.But , like many persons , he only thinks it was a little hurt and nothing more

When he arrives to the studio, he has a big headache and doesn't want to practise as well.

" Jae, you 're late!"

Yunho, as a good leader always says that to him.

" I know Yunho I'm late... I'm sorry"

" Please think of the others next time"

" I do"

The others members look at Jae but say nothing. They all know that Jae really doesn't like this chorgraphy but he practise very much for this


And the lesson begin. Yunho always have a look of his friend and lover Jae and correct everytime his faults and his moves.

Jae was really tired and realise his knee hurt more and more after moves... But he continue to practise because he can't let the others without give the best of himself


But his knee is going to hurt more and more. Suddently he fell, during a practise. Yunho comes quickly and ask to him why he fall. Jae couldn't answer because he can't think of something other that his knee. A pain so intense like a knife in your leg or something really hot , whom burn your skin .

Everything can happen but the mind only can focus of the hurt. Yunho can only see his love smiling weakly, and says he just need rest, because he's too tired to move right now.

After this incident , the practise calm a little because everybody is worried. Jae insist to continue this lesson and practise with the others... But the pain grows more and more at each seconds and each moves he does. But he can't help , he needs to continue to show to everybody , he's not weak like he seems , he's strong and this hurt is nothing.


Minutes pass.. and his knee needs rest but Jae doesn't care, he wants Yunho to be proud of him...

But he fall... again and this time , he can't stand up.Because now he can move his knee anymore.


Yunho see his lover do anything to follow the others but himself , do nothing... when they take Jae at hospital, he understand this hurt is going to be a bad hurt... He knows that , he always knows and do nothing.. This time , he's a bad leader. Bad leader for Jae , bad leader for all the others members of the group.

He wait the news, anguish and listen without noticing he breaks a pen with his hands. Jae can't practise and needs an intervention... And this is all his fautl.


Jae listen the new.. and when he's alone , he cry.. because he can't help... He really wants to be strong for the others , because he needs to prove to himself he has forces too. But everything is going worse when he do this sort of things. He suffers, right now he suffers , but all his mind focus of the others members Su, Minnie and Max and their pain. And his bad action..; and of this and that


When suffer and anguish melt, everything is going to be darker... and Jaejoong saw only darkness now... like Yunho... now everything can be worse?

 

Tags:

Miss you final

  • Aug. 5th, 2008 at 4:24 PM
jae
Title:Miss you
Length:part?
Author: cl700177. 
Genre: drama 
Rating: PG?
Pairing: Yunjae
Summary: What happen when your love go?
AN:  Then an other update darlings hope you enjoy 



Yunho


He always look at him

He always talk with him

And he ... he flirt with him

And I think he loves him

He loves him he loves him!!!

I become more and ùore jealous ... I begin to hate him..

Not my angel... him.. Heechul...

No... my Angel too

I love you Jae!... But it's too late now right?

I love you.. I hate you

I understand now

Many people say love is near hate..

And it's true... it's so true

I hate them I want my love....

Jaejoong.. Kim Jaejoong ..

You're going to regret to make me jealous




Jaejoong


I really flirt with him, I really do that to Yunho

I flirt with Heechul

I think... I thougt that can help me to forget

But no... never ... I still love him

I still love him and stay with him will ... could be so ... wonderful

I love him and I want him

But I can help it

I kiss Heechul

Oh no a big kiss just a kiss near of his lips at the right corner

When we separate I see Yunho looking at us in desbelief

And his look... become so dark.. so dead..

I can say I suceed I suceed

So... why did I cry when I see him turn away and go?



Yunho


I try to understand but.. he kiss him!

I can't hold this anymore I just become more angry

So I decide to finish ... to end this situation

I go the next day to see Jaejoong

I just stay at his side without words

And when he finally turn at me I see his so beautiful adorable eyes of cat

And that decide me... I take this decision

I stand up sit on his bed and kiss him

A passionate kiss, sweet and warm...

And in the same time... I put my knife in his heart

I let his soft lips and look at his eyes.... I see life go away of his eyes...

I close his eyes ... and take the knife... and put it in my heart...

I hope I can see my angel again... somewhere... we can ... live.. our llove together...


Heechul find the two boys lay together.. dead ... hand together

But... love will end like that?...

Or... souls can meet one more time...




Tags:

Miss you 2

  • Jul. 30th, 2008 at 8:23 PM
jae
Title:Miss you
Length:part?
Author: cl700177. 
Genre: drama 
Rating: PG?
Pairing: Yunjae
Summary: What happen when your love go?
AN:  Then an other update darlings hope you enjoy
Yes I forget I go with my fmily for a while  I think I can write the end of this^^
If I have a chance there will have net where I go
So happy holiday everybody
Kisses everyone



A week , a week he goes
I don't remember the last time I eat
I don't remember his last kiss
I don't remember is so cute smileJust don't remember
Today I wake up and everthing was clear in my head
He leave me so I am going to torture him
And I keep this promise 

Yunho POV

I leave him... I don't remember why. He just begin somebody else
He wasn't Jaejoong anymore he acts like he was my pet
So horrible , I need to end this for him ... No for me... May I am wrong? Yes I think so I am wrong
I love him... I just hope he can understand
BUt I am so worried...
Today I was so happy I have a promotion and I took my hone for calling Jae
And his mother answer , I really call him.. fool I am
BUt she said so many things
Jae.. my Jae ... he tried suicide he let a letter for me
I scream silently and come at hospital
He was there sleeping in peace.... but red marks everywhere I can see except on his face
I scream I really scream like a fool because I destry him
I never expect to be so important to hm
I don't believe he really love me that much....
I kneel and call him again and again
My Jae ... doesn't answer...
Three days after he wake up
But he doesn't talk anymore... because of me
He just doesn't look at me he just doesn't look at me!
I realise too late that I love him
My Jae , my angel
He has to stay at hospital because of his sickness
I try everything 
BUt it seems he never come back to me 
My Jae My Angel
PLease fogive me...

Jaejoong POV

I see him crying against me I see him apologise
But he destroy me and my heart 
How can I forgive ?
I love him but it is enough
Everyday I can go back to the house I try to suicide more
I think I have no more idea....
I can't talk because I hide my voice...
But I am attracted by this man Heechul a nurse
He is beautiful and so sexy
And he take care of me
Heechul , I always look at him when I see him and I try to think of him when I am alone with Yunho
Maybe he see that , my real love... but I don't want to return to him
Not now... if he can hold this a little time
Then he isn't the one I need for real and forever

Tags:

Miss you

  • Jul. 30th, 2008 at 12:55 PM
jae

 

 Title:Miss you
Length:oneshot?
Author: cl700177. 
Genre: drama 
Rating: PG?
Pairing: Yunjae
Summary: What happen when your love go?
AN:  New fic or oneshot I don't know. I see after seeing your comments darlings thank you




I miss you
That is all I think now, I miis you. When you leave me like that yesterday night.. I cry so much I can't open my eyes anymore
I love you can you understand that ? I love you ,  I am fucking in love of you
I hope your kisses I hope your cherish I hope just to see you
But you, you tell me so cold words you tell so many breaking things
I can't hold this anymore .
I try to be strong I try to love you like that 
But if you want to change myself everytime what can I do?...
I try to change for you just for you
To prove my love to you
But seems you don't care now I try so so much
But where is your love for me?
Did I am wrong? you don't love me?
Think of that break my heart and give me headache
But I have to accept this possibility too
That you never love me
But why?
I give you my everything
I was so happy when you answer to my feelings
I was...
But it isn't true
I was wrong
I try to forget what you say yesterday
But I can't
You say it's over
And you let me
But how I am supposed to live without you?
I love you!
Please come back to me
Please come back in my life
Please ... I beg you Jung Yunho...

Tags:

Yunjae holidays

  • Jul. 13th, 2008 at 9:19 PM
jae

 Hi guys

so the little explanation
In fact I go tommorow the 14 in Japan with my family so..; I think I can't post any post until my return I'm sorry guys I will write other parts in Japan ^^ so I can write the other post at my return

So good holidays to everybody

Kisses everyone

Yunjae, Death... 48

  • Jul. 13th, 2008 at 8:53 PM
jae
Title: In just one day...

Length: ...

Author: cl700177. 

Genre: drama 


Rating:

Pairing: Yunjae, Yosumin after 

Summary: Jaejoong and Yunho had a perfect life, with their little daughter. But one day, she disapear, the story begin after this tragic moment...

 



Other POV
Yukiko is courageous
But it's too late fo her to escape
Jae went to talk with her
But she refuse....
She try to go...
But this inspector came
For asking her questions
Morvana call them,.. the police
But Yukiko refuse to answer
When they ask if she wants Min be judged
She just look at Min.
And smile a little
She refuse... she said she loves Min
And it was only an accident
Jae looks at her in disbelief
Because she forgives to Min
Jae seems so impressive
And Yunho seems to have new hope
Now Jae and Yunho can talk
Yukiko give them the example
But.. he arrives...him...
Please Jae umma, Yunho oppa...
Run away... I beg you
Because he can kill you
Like he kill me...


AN: So now you can say who is the other POV right?^^ okay there is an another entry after , it's a little explanation hope you read it guys

Tags:

Yunjae, Death... 47

  • Jul. 13th, 2008 at 8:52 PM
jae
Title: In just one day...

Length: ...

Author: cl700177. 

Genre: drama 


Rating:

Pairing: Yunjae, Yosumin after 

Summary: Jaejoong and Yunho had a perfect life, with their little daughter. But one day, she disapear, the story begin after this tragic moment...

 

Yukiko/Kim POV


i always think about that
I can do nothing ...

Nothing against my family
I have no proof...
But I hear her.. Morvana ... the nurse
That is horriblz...
And she thinks she help me
Poor fool: She is going to make herself in danger
And I don't want this...
Because now there is no matter
I have no escape
And I can't take this anymore
Nobody can save me
But I can save the others
I really can if I try
My baby is safe
So I open this door and slap Morvana
And tell to them that is false
Ezverything she said is false
My family is the bet family
And every word escaping of my mouth
Every word is so painful
But if I want to save my cousin
Jae babies, my love...
I have to return there


 

Tags:

Yunjae, Death... 46

  • Jul. 13th, 2008 at 11:53 AM
jae
 

 Title: In just one day...

Length: ...

Author: cl700177. 

Genre: drama 


Rating:

Pairing: Yunjae, Yosumin after 

Summary: Jaejoong and Yunho had a perfect life, with their little daughter. But one day, she disapear, the story begin after this tragic moment...

 


Yoochun Pov


Baby , rape... so many things
Jae and Su don't seem surprised
Me and the other yes
We stay in front of the door
Shocked... quiet
And after a momet we begin to speak
A nurse arrive for take papers
She listen our conversation
And she enter in...
We all are surprised
But there is something strange
She ask her to leave to go
We ask her why
She looks so scared
She finally admits something
Kim family is not the best family
Because it's a yakusa family
So scaring... but Kim-sama (why sama)
She is the only one who is « kind »
She say to us many others things
Murderers... Death of the first son
Kim seems to have no chance
To be a girl in this kind if family
The nurse say she was and is the whore of everybody
When her family need to pay
They send her , a sort of paiement
She also say... thaat Yunho and Min

Yunho and Min are cousins of Kim
That is a surprise
And she say too
There is something wrong with the girl
The death of Yunjae daughter
Everything happened is because of this family
And she say one last thing
That there isn't the first time that Kim come here

Come at hospital... for rape
She is going to say more
But....

Tags:

Yunjae, Death... neww

  • May. 31st, 2008 at 1:15 AM
jae
Hi Guys

Okay I do something for you I make a new tag I just realise I haven't so I hope it's better for you

Anyway I hope you like this story because it's depressing sometimes to see only comments of some persons but I really love them so 

Thank you to chloe, kattan, jaeholife, moon, leejae,  irerdtaga

Thank you very much guys because you help me to continue this story

For my silent readers, I hope you to comment just one time, I will be very happy of that

Kisses everyone

Tags:

Yunjae, Death... request

  • May. 10th, 2008 at 2:22 AM
jae

Hey guys

 today it isn't a part of my fic but a little game^^

No a game for me because your answer give me a part of different ways

So I introduce you three questions.. three questions and it can have three winners of course

The winner can ask me one thing of my fic and have answer... ^^ 

Everybody can win!!! 

The answers , no the parts of answer are in my posts.

Some let me introduce the questions:

1. Kim has a mysterious past, and a mysterious family, in your opinion , what do , I mean what kind of work do this family?

2. Can I ask you to say if Kim is a boy or a girl?... No I'm sorry :P So I ask you this,  How Yunho can discover where is Jae?

3(and last) Well, in your opinion , what hapenning really the day of Jaeho daughter death?

^^ I hope I can have your opinions, everybody can answer and you my mute reader answer for this time please!!!

I wait your answer guys^^ and hope them 

Kisses everyone

 

Love or hate?

  • Apr. 19th, 2008 at 2:54 PM
jae

Title: crazy of you

Author : myself cl700177

Lengh: One shot

Pairing: Jaeho

Summary: Jaejoong was just inform about something and he's going to be mad

AN: Too much in few days really too much...  Sorry guys if I give you a bad mood, really sorry but that's so hard now...

 

Jae enter in his room and close the door. He just stay like that , no reactions, just nothing. And he  thinks, too much but he must do this...

I'm just a fool... I just  never realise... Oh fool I am..

He starts to cry, silently and remember  remember what happen just a few minutes ago...
                                  __________________________

He was in kitchen talk with his mother on cellphone. Yunho came, he asked for a little conversation. Jae was so happy because he loves his Yunho so much... But, he learned about a trip, a trip where he wasn't because nobody told him... Yunho apologised, felt really sorry because he forgot to tell him... 
But Jae said it was nothing, he understood, four others plan,ed a trip.. what else? 
Latter he said goodbye with a soft smile to his "friends" and watched them go out.

                                 ___________________________

Cry, was a good thing sometimes... and let the feelings talk ...

I don't care .. because you know I can't go with you...
But Yunho .. why didn't you tell me?
You know how I hate to know nothing
You know how I hate to fell.. nothing
You don't trust me?
Why?... did I do something wrong? 
I love you so much.. why did you do this to me...
I have a bad injury , I mst stay to relax my knee...
But why now and like that?
I must to smile for you everytime, everywhere

Yunho... I can do anything for you
I can kill for you if you ask..
I can die for you if you want...
You tell me you love me
But not like I love you, because  we didn't love as the same way
You  choice to do not see my feelings right now
Like always
And now it's too much...
Maybe you are really sorry maybe you really don't understand
But me , I am tired really tired of your actions
You take my heart and now you break it

Do you think it's easy for me to see  you in her arms?
I try to understand, I try to forgive
But I can't... 
I know you love her
I know I love you
I tell you so many time but you laught and say "I love you too"
And it's hard, it's so hard

So I go now..
Sorry really  sorry
But maybe NOW you understand
If I leave you, if I break everything
If I die... you understand?
Me for my safe , for my life
I'm going to leave you slowly
One day you wake up and I won't be here anymore
Hate or love... no hate and love
I'm a shadow without you
I'm going to the darkness of my heart
But remember... I always love you
And forever....





A gift

  • Mar. 13th, 2008 at 12:32 AM
jae
 So I do it!!! My first fan fiction greattt!!!
I finished to translate this evening or.. morning^^

That's a gift for the community for my birthday.

That's all XD.

See you minna.

An entry

  • Feb. 29th, 2008 at 11:41 PM
jae

Wow that's the only word I can say...
I visit that website and that's impressive. 
Read all those stories of Jaeho... oh I'm sorry I must said something I'm found of DBSK.

So I'm very impressed about all persons who write stories about DBSK.

What else? That's right for a first time no?

See you minna!!!

New profil

  • Feb. 27th, 2008 at 11:40 PM
jae

hi everybody I'm new here. Nice to meet you. I'm found of DBSK so I hope you can learn me many and many things
Well, what else?...
See you